211. Heart Aint A Brain

Warning: language, adult situations, nudity

Bridgeport, present day...

"Come on, you have to see, mommy's awake." His son's excitement was contagious and it was hard for Krisis not to get sucked in.

“Come here, you monkey,” Krisis growled playfully as he scooped Kristian up and carried him on his shoulders; it was an attempt on his part to shake off the residues of his troubling dream.

His son squealed delightedly, screaming at him to put him down. “Daddy, I’m a big boy, you know. Put me down!”

Of course Krisis didn’t set him down, not until they’d reached his bedroom.

He found Leigh sitting up on the bed. Her back was turned to him, and Ariel was playing with her hair.

Lily and Azalea were engaged in a fierce game of Rock Paper Scissors. From past experience Krisis knew it was their way of deciding who should feed Rags, the rescue dog he’d gotten for the triplets' birthday.

Sensing him there, and hearing Kristian's excited chatter, Leigh turned and fixed her eyes on him.

Krisis felt like he was free falling.She literally took his breath away. And for a short spell he couldn't say anything, he was struck by the light radiating from her, it was the same light she'd brought into his life, the same light she'd passed on to their kids, the same light he could not have lived without.

Their kids ran out of the room then when Patty called them for their afternoon snack.

“How are you feeling?” Krisis asked from the door.

Leigh smiled at him. “Alive. Stronger. Everything is so crystal clear, the colors seem brighter, the sounds are louder too. I can hear Patty’s thoughts. And her heartbeat! Krisis, how is it even possible, she’s not even in this this room?”

Krisis laughed at her question, feeling humbled by how happy she seemed. He’d worried that she’d find everything too much, and she’d struggle with her transformation.  But she seemed okay, a little flushed around the cheeks, but nothing to worry over, it could just be from her excitement.

“And I’m starving, Krisis!” Leigh added as she tried to get up, confirming just how fine she felt.

But not used to her new senses and her super quick reflexes she swayed on her feet and almost collapsed.

"Slow down speedy Gonzalez," he admonished her gently as he picked her up before she could hit the floor.

He placed her on the bed, drew the curtains and locked the door.

Without saying a word, he slowly undressed her, trailing adoring kisses all over her body.

Leigh did the same to him, but he surprised her when he didn't take her there and then even though she was ready with an all-new yearning for him.

"Feed first, you'll need your energy," he told her as he offered her his wrists.

Having fed from him on numerous occasions to reinforce their blood bond, her first feed as a vampire wasn't messy at all. But she was a little greedy, and Krisis had to pull back with a little more force.

"You’ve taken enough, Leigh," he murmured as he turned her onto her back and moved over her.

This time when he gently nudged her legs apart and neither of them could suppress their carnal moans when he thrust into her hard. 

For a minute, or two, they both didn't move, awestruck by the sheer pleasure of having their bodies joined.

While she was still getting used to the mind blowing sensations, Krisis sank his fangs in her neck and drank from her.

Overwhelmed by her new senses, Leigh cried, she'd never experienced anything so deeply erotic and satisfying before.

"Did I hurt you?" Krisis whispered when he heard her cry, his voice was raw with need.

Leigh shook her head, she couldn't speak, a raging inferno burned hot deep in her centre, and she could swear she was coming undone as Krisis moved in and out of her in languid strokes.

She'd never felt anything like this before, their love making in the past was always intense, but nothing like this. All her senses were heightened to a ludicrous point, the slightest caress, the smallest of touches sent her into tiny spasms and she tried to keep up and prolong her climax for as long as she could, but the pressure was building up at an alarming speed, and she couldn't put it off any longer, she shuddered her release beneath him, Krisis joined her in their cloud of ecstasy moments later.

For a long time, they lay in each other's arms, unable to move, both perplexed by what had just happened.

Krisis wanted to kick himself for behaving like an adolescent boy, jumping her the first chance he got.

And Leigh was terrified of all these new feelings he'd awakened in her, the hunger she felt for him, the raw passion, and the profound adoration.

“What are you thinking?” Krisis asked after some time had passed, and their breathing had slowed to a normal pace.

“How much I love you, and how much it scares me,” Leigh replied truthfully.

Krisis’ arms tightened around her as he drew her closer to him. He didn’t have to tell her, she knew he felt just as strongly about her.

“Tell me what happened,” Leigh nestled deeper into him, and his own body curved to accommodate hers. He breathed in her hair, strawberries and wild flowers, his second most favorite scent in the world only because Leigh wore it so well. His first was her raw scent, especially at the peak of their love making, if he could live on the high he got from it alone, he knew he would.

“There’s nothing to tell, Leigh,” he whispered when he felt her tug at his arm.

“Yes there’s a lot to tell. Three days ago I wasn’t a Vampire, Krisis, so please fill in the blanks for me.”

Krisis stiffened, and Leigh knew he was struggling to open up to her.

But he surprised her when he spoke suddenly.

“You got shot, and you lost a lot of blood.  I couldn’t risk losing you, so I turned you. J.D. took us to the hospital, they stitched you up, and I brought you home to watch over your transformation.”

Leigh knew it wasn’t as simple as that, there was more he hadn’t shared with her, and she wondered if he ever would. It made her sad, to know he was holding back.

“I’m not holding back, Leigh,” Krisis answered her thoughts. But even as he said the words, he could hear how untrue they sounded.

He was holding back, he’d never tell how he’d died right along with her when he watched the nurse look at her wrist watch and announce her time of death. He could never explain the overwhelming feelings of relief he’d felt when the machines beeped to life not even a second later. The realization that she hadn’t really died, and she was just going through the change had almost killed him as much as the notion of losing her. 

The very thought of losing her kept him awake, but  when he did manage to nap, all his subconscious fears made themselves known through his disturbing dreams, like the one he’d just awakened from a little while ago.

The very thought of losing Leigh filled him with a helplessness he could never explain to anyone, he couldn’t even articulate it to himself.

“Tell me about everyone then, are they okay?”

Krisis smiled, feeling grateful that she had chosen to change the subject; he really didn’t want to dwell on his darkness…

Days later…

Bridgeport, Cameron’s place

Cameron knew they were in trouble the moment she walked through his front door. For days now she’d been avoiding him, ignoring his calls and sending him away whenever he went to see her. He understood her need for space; he just wished she wouldn’t shut him out so much.

He tried to reach for her now and tuck in her his arms, but he pulled back when he saw her recoil from his touch.

He held up his hands, and gave her all the space she needed.

Michaela gave him a grateful smile. But it didn’t reach her eyes; they remained a dull blue that he was still struggling to get used to. He missed the light in her eyes, missed how bright it used to shine. Her eyes had reminded him of sapphires glistening in the sunset, but now…They looked cold, and dull, like cobalt stones.

Shit, he cursed inwardly, wondering why he was thinking about gems when his life was falling apart all around him. Funny thing the mind is, always coming up with the strangest of things to block out what it doesn’t want to process. That’s what his brain was doing now, fighting against the inevitable.

Michaela crossed the room and sat down. He chose the glass door leading out to his patio, not because of the view beyond, but it seemed like a safe distance, he didn’t trust himself not to take her in his arms and comfort her, but he was aware of her need for personal space.

“Cam, I have to go,” she cut to the chase, she was always so direct, he smiled, glad to see that there was something at least that Joshua hadn’t managed to change.

“I’m sorry,” she added when he didn’t say anything, misunderstanding his silence for anger.

But he wasn’t angry, he wasn’t even shocked. He was devastated. But he couldn’t say he was surprised. He’d known it was coming, Krisis had warned him it might happen; he’d gone through a similar situation with Leigh.

But knowing and mentally preparing himself for the day when it would finally happen didn’t lessen his pain or make it bearable.

He was devastated, but he would never tell her that, otherwise she might change her mind, and he knew she needed to do this as much as he needed her.

For her to heal it had to be on her terms. And as much as her terms would cripple him, her well-being came first; he had to give her what she needed.

“Say something please,” Michaela whispered tearfully, and he couldn’t bear to hear her cry, he immediately wanted to rush up to her and hold her. But Joshua was there, standing between them, even in death he still had a hold on Michaela.

“For how long?” He asked at last. He was still turned away from her, staring blankly at the grey fog beyond the pane. He didn’t want to look at her just yet, not until he’d forced back his tears at least.

“I don’t know,” she replied.

Cameron didn’t say anything after that. Instead, he went upstairs, leaving her sobbing on the couch. When he came back down two minutes later, he had his guitar with him.

Wordlessly, he placed it beside her on the couch and went back to his post at the door.

“I can’t take this,” she cried.

It was his only guitar, a gift from his father when he discovered his love for music. But since he joined K-Infinity, he’d hardly touched it, he spent all his time on the keyboard. He liked having it out in plain view though; it was a constant reminder of his childhood and his best friend.

 “Yes, you can,” Cameron insisted.

“But-It’s a piece of-” she started to say what he’d always told her, that the guitar was a piece of his father that no one could ever take from him.

“And now it’s a piece of me that no one can ever take from you,” he gave her a small smile.

She nodded, and did something that surprised them both. She closed the space between them and wrapped her arms around him. 

Cameron hesitated for a moment or two before he finally crushed her tightly to his chest, sobbing in her hair. Her scent, a mix of The One by Dolce and Gabbana and her lilac scented shampoo, teased his nostrils. It was the best smell in the world, and for an indefinite period, it wouldn’t be his to bask in. He wanted to savor it, savor this moment.

As quickly as she’d reached out to him, she withdrew from their embrace and stepped back.

“I love you,” he told her just as she turned to leave. He didn’t expect to hear her say the words back so he wasn’t disappointed when she didn’t.

“I’ll be back,” It was the first positive thing she’d said to him since she walked in, and he perked up at the promise in her voice.

“And I’ll be here,” he told her through his tears.

A minute passed, and then two as they both stood there, staring at each other, silently wondering how things got so messed up.

With a tearful sigh, Michaela picked up his guitar and moved slowly towards the door, Cameron turned away from her; he couldn’t bear to watch her leave.

He listened to her light footsteps fade away, and he waited for a moment or maybe two before he broke down and let out a heartbroken howl.

Michaela pressed her back firmly on Cameron’s front door, crying right along with him. She knew she was hurting him by leaving, but she couldn’t stay, not when all she had to give him was her hurt…

But still, she wanted to go in there, hold him and tell him she’d come back for him.

“Leave, you’ve hurt him enough for one day,” she forced herself to walk away as she impatiently wiped away her tears…

Note: special thanks to Karima for her photo editing skills