168. Crimson Regrets

Written in collaboration with Fae/Zhippidy

Bridgeport, present day...

Hours after her run in with Thornton, Katie was still in the strange mood he’d left her in. She didn’t know what to make of him. From the stories she’d read and heard about him, he wasn’t a likeable man, but the sadness and loneliness she’d sensed from him told her something else. He was a mix of contradictions, a bag full of complications and she realized then she didn’t want to think about him anymore. She didn’t even want to remember his bewilderment in Krisis’ office.

 A knock on her front door pulled her away from the darkening sky beyond her window.

She was surprised to find Cameron.

“I brought some pizza, I hope you have wine?” he smiled at her, waving the large box in front of her.

She moved aside to let him in, she could use the pizza and the company after the weird day she’d had.

Cameron went to the kitchen to get glasses and the bottle of wine. And she put on a movie. It was a crime thriller. Cameron liked all things detective. And she knew Michaela loved it too, it’s one of things they had in common.

“So what brings you over?” She asked ten minutes into the movie, it had failed to grab their attention in the first five, it was a lost cause.

“Am I that transparent?” Cameron asked between bites of his slice.

“Sure you are,” she laughed as she picked at her food.

Cameron wasn’t the type to beat around the bush. He told her what was on his mind. It was Mickey. Ever since Joshua resurfaced she was a different person. He wasn’t worried about their relationship or her feelings for him. It was just that she’d grown very reserved lately, she closed up at the mere mention of Joshua and if he didn’t know better he’d think something had happened between them.

“Why don’t you talk to her about it, ask her what’s going on?” Katie suggested. Cameron had a stunned look in his eyes as he stared at her intently; the thought had never crossed his mind.

“Yeah. I think I’ll do that,” he nodded. A huge smile spread across his face and it lit up his eyes, the worry lines she’d seen around his mouth were gone now.

“So what’s going on with you?” He switched the conversation to her.

Katie felt uncomfortable suddenly.

“So?” Cameron prodded.

“So nothing,” Katie replied as she jumped from her seat and began clearing the table. Cameron refilled their glasses and she joined him on the couch again.

“You never talk about your family, how come?”

“There’s nothing to tell,” Katie shrugged her shoulders.

“Please, everyone has a story to tell,” Cameron replied. He promised to tell her something very embarrassing about himself if she told him just a little bit about herself.

 It seemed like a reasonable trade. And once she started talking she couldn’t stop…

She was an only child, born to a romance novelist Mother and an electronics tinkering Father.

Her childhood was ordinary and nothing special. She went to school, played in parks, skipped rope and held baby dolls.

Her mother was never an outwardly affectionate lady, and best expressed her emotions with pen and paper rather than with voice and hugs. Her father was quite the opposite. He was quick to hug, tease and tickle her, and she was often swept up and spun around and around until she was dizzy.

She had few close friends during her school years and often spent her days sitting near the Simmomon riverbank, writing stories, poems and plays that she acted out in her imagination. She enjoyed sketching the characters for her stories and often play-acted as one of her characters, “to get to know them better”, she would claim. 

As much as she enjoyed the stories and characters that her imagination brought to life, her love for music blossomed in her teen years and took over.

She was often told she had a Teresa Berganza voice, and while she felt a little embarrassed to sing alone in public, she did sing with her school choir and had no reservations singing karaoke with her close friends. She could often be found in the music room after school hours caressing the ivories or stroking the strings as she taught herself to play the piano and the guitar. She’d look longingly at the violins, but, they were secured in locked closets, and off limits to non-band members.

Soon after she turned fifteen, she excitedly obtained a part time job at the little second hand music shop that sat nestled between City Hall and an old vacant warehouse, the money she made there was enough to pay for one official music lesson every two weeks.

While her pay wasn't great (not that she’d needed much really), the rundown, unfrequented music shop thrilled her as it had exposed her to so many types of music. She developed a fast love for jazz and rock, but could often be heard singing an old, sad folk song while scrubbing the dingy toilet in the little bathroom tucked under the back stair.

During her shifts at the store, she’d write her songs and would grab a guitar from the for-sale rack, strumming and singing and jotting down words and chords.

The shop's portly, middle-aged owner often left while she was there, taking with him the smell of cheap cigars, and once the door closed behind his old blue twill suit, she’d sing loudly and to her heart's content.

Whether sweeping the dusty corners, watching the counter paint peel up as she washed it or trying to fix the toilet under the stair, she kept a rhythm, hummed a tune or turned words over and over in her head.

During an impromptu jam session with a song on the radio and her hands on the countertop, she’d sped through the last words of the song and snapped open her eyes at the unexpected clap from behind the one-simoleon rack of CDs.

Her eyes had lit on a boy about her age, leaning casually against a pillar, a lopsided smile matching his rumpled, oversized clothing.

She and Sean Riley soon became great friends, and then a little more than just friends.

They spent their time together playing guitar in the park, lying on the river bank sharing an iPod and a beer or attending concerts at venues in town.

Sean Riley was often found at the old music shop, perched on the counter chatting with her about his plans to move on from their little river town to a bigger and better life in Bridgeport.

She gushed her own dreams right back at Sean Riley and they talked and shared and planned.

Near her seventeenth birthday, Sean Riley rushed into the music shop and breathlessly slammed two pieces of paper on the counter.

“A concert” he’d grinned at her, his blue eyes sparkling, “In Bridgeport, let's go!”

Katie had squinted an eye at him, picked up the ticket, and nearly fell over seeing that the concert was not just “a concert”, but “The” kick off of a world tour for K-Infinity. She’d hopped over the counter nearly effortlessly and stumbled into Sean, arms flung around his neck, hopping from one foot to the other until he lost his balance.

Laughing and somewhat chagrined, she’d sprawled on the dusty floor alongside Sean Riley and held the ticket up to the ceiling, reading it over and over. Unbelievable. Not just a concert, but one with several bands and the ever famous K-Infinity. She did not know how Sean Riley had acquired the tickets for the Crimson Regrets tour, and she hadn’t really cared.

Several months after the long anticipated concert had come and gone, Sean Riley graduated from high school and made his plans to move on to Bridgeport.

Her heart had come undone when they shared a final hug and kiss and she watched the taillight from his motorcycle long after it disappeared from sight. One more year to go for her and she could head out to bigger and better and reunite with Sean Riley.

Seven months down, five more to go and she would be heading out of her little river home town.

Eight months down and four more to go and she received a call from Mrs. Connelly, Sean Riley's Mother.

Eleven months gone and one more to go, she placed a green guitar pick on Sean Riley's grave.

Twelve months down and ready to go, she hugged her Mom and her Dad, brightened her face and headed out of the door, bag and guitar case in hand.

She stopped by the cemetery and placed an eternal candle near Sean Riley's headstone, stuck a row of guitar picks around the candle and straightened herself.

Bags packed and dreams in her mind she blew Sean Riley a kiss. A tear in her eye, she ran off to the train station on her way to Bridgeport…

“You loved him very much,” Cameron commented after a long silence.

“I still do,” she replied.

“But it was a long time ago,” she added softly as she moved back to the window. It was getting dark outside now; she could vaguely make out shadows moving in the distance, people rushing to their homes.

 A train hurtled beneath their feet and Cameron blocked his ears until the sound was gone.

“Don’t you think it’s time you moved? You can afford to,” Cameron turned to her with a wry smile.

“I like it here. This side of town is like an organism, it’s got a life of its, an energy I just haven’t seen anywhere else in Bridgeport. Plus the subway is an amazing backdrop for my photography; the people too are a wonderful inspiration for the songs I write. Besides there’s Sean in every room here,” She explained.

Cameron would have argued with her and tried to change her mind if she hadn’t mentioned the last part about Sean.

She really did love him.

 “This was his place when he first moved to Bridgeport. He overdosed here too. I was lucky it was still vacant when I moved up. Nobody wanted to rent a place where someone died.”

“I’m sorry,” Cameron told her as he took her in his arms.

“It’s okay,” she replied as she quickly brushed away her tears.

“I think you should show me this amazing backdrop I keep hearing about,” Cameron suggested. Without waiting for her reply he grabbed her coat from the couch and wrapped it around her shoulders.

Katie grabbed her camera and handbag on their way out.

They spent a large part of their evening walking the subway, taking pictures, and chatting to her subjects until Cameron’s cell phone rang. It was Michaela. And he had to go see her.

He looked like a schoolboy as he beamed at her outside her flat. And she couldn’t believe how smitten he was with Mickey. But then again she was an amazing girl.

As she crawled into her bed and turned off the light on her nightstand, Katie found herself wondering if Mickey’s grandfather was as amazing as her…