155. Inside Out

Bridgeport, present day...

Krisis hated getting involved in his sister's business, and he would have preferred to stay out of it and let them work it out on their own, but his twin had asked him, and so had Leigh. Both were worried sick about J.D. The whole evening after he left they'd imagined all sorts of scary scenarios. So to put their minds at ease, he had volunteered to go after him. A part of him felt guilty too, though. It was a rotten thing to do, keeping something as big as Cameron and Mickey from his best friend, but with everything he'd gone through with Thornton, finding Blake, and almost losing the triplets he'd clean forgot about it. He shouldn't have.

He made sure Leigh and the kids were settled in for the night before he set out to find J.D. 

For mid August it was unusually cold outside. He stood still for a moment as he sniffed the air. It smelled like snow. It was all wrong. It never snowed around this time of year.

A faint noise made him look sharply to his right at the rose bushes and sunflowers, it sounded like twigs snapping from the trees. He looked up at the tall Chinese maple tree. His eyes found nothing.

Out of nowhere, a deep feeling of dread washed over him. He looked around once more, convinced someone was watching him.

A black cat stunned him when it suddenly sprung from the tree and jumped at him, he laughed, feeling relieved that he didn't have to get into attack mode.

"Hey, so it's you? You've been checking me out, huh?" He cooed at the cat as he scratched its neck. It purred softly in his arms and closed its eyes, seemingly enjoying the feel of his hands.

“What's your name?” Krisis asked and all he got was more meowing.

“Well you'd better get on home, it looks like snow is on the way," he told the cat as he set it down.

He looked around one last time, checking that nothing was out of place, before he sprinted to his bike parked next to Leigh's SUV in the carport.

When he sped out of the driveway the cat was sitting outside the front door. He hoped it wouldn't stay long, its purring would wake the kids, and they'd get crabby, Leigh would get crabby too. And he didn't need that right now. Especially after the shitty afternoon he'd had.

The roads were quiet and Krisis guessed the strange weather was keeping everyone in doors. He was crazy for being out here; he should have been in doors too, snuggling up with Leigh. God he loved her. He'd never thought he could ever love so deeply. She completed him. He'd go crazy without her and the kids while he was on tour for the next six months.

He got depressed just thinking about their hectic schedule. As much as he was looking forward to touring again the thought of being without Leigh and the kids filled him with dread.  Maybe after this he'd quit, settle down and devote more time to them. Maybe he’d even return to playing polo.

Before he could entertain the thought he was already at Aquarius. The bouncer confirmed J.D. was there, and he led him through a secret entrance to avoid his fans.

He found his best friend on the rooftop, staring mournfully at the darkening sky. Krisis saw the clouds overhead were swollen with snow or rain or maybe both.

“You shouldn't have come!” JD said without turning around to look at him.

“I know,” Krisis agreed.

He joined him on the edge of the building and looked down.

They were twelve stories high, one slip up and it would be the end of him. Leigh and the kids would be left alone.

He could count on JD and Cameron to look after them, but he couldn't count on them to love Leigh. In fact he could never count on any man to love Leigh as much as he did. The thought sobered him up, he moved away from the ledge when he realized he wanted a good century with Leigh at the very least; he didn't want any slip ups.

He took a seat at the table and stared at J.D. He was tightly wound up, rage reeked off of him with the same intensity as the absinthe he'd drunk.

"Krimsyn’s worried about you. Leigh too. We didn't lie to you," Krisis began when it was obvious he'd have to direct this show. His friend was not willing to meet him halfway.

"You just didn’t tell me the truth," J.D. roared at him. Krisis didn't mind his tone; he thought it was good that they were talking.

“I would have.”

“When?” J.D. challenged him.

“I don't know. It doesn't matter now. I'm sorry I didn't.”

J.D.  kept quiet after this. There was nothing more to say.

Krisis found himself thinking about the cat. He hoped it was gone and that it didn't wake the kids before it left.

“It's Cameron man!”  J.D.  growled suddenly.

“I know. I understand.”

“What if he hurts her?”

“What if he doesn't? What if he loves her better than any man Mickey will ever meet? What if he treats her better than kids her age?” Krisis threw back at him.

“What are you saying? You saying it’s okay?” J.D. jumped from the edge and paced towards him, his words were slurred.

“I'm not saying anything!”  Krisis stepped back, but J.D. wouldn't drop it. He was spoiling for a fight. He grabbed the front of Krisis' t-shirt roughly and shoved him away.

Krisis saw red then, but he forced himself to calm down.  J.D. was the wronged party here, not him.

“I don't know what to do,” his friend fell to the ground and wept.

Krisis felt useless as he watched him cry, he didn’t know how to help him, but he had to try, “No one is asking you to do anything. It's not up to any of us. The best thing we can do is to allow Mickey to make her mistakes.”

“I know, but it's Cam, man!”

“What exactly about Cam bothers you, and don't tell me it’s the age difference because you know that’s bullshit!”

“Don’t you get it? He's Cam the man whore! He’s probably slept with half the females in this town. How am I supposed to look at him knowing what he thinks of my child? What he has planned for my child?”

Krisis didn't have an answer to this.

J.D. drifted back to the edge and Krisis stayed right where he was, he was safe there, away from J.D.’s pain.

“You have your soccer team, Devon has Blake, who do I have? My baby girl doesn't need me anymore!”

Tears sprung in Krisis' eyes when he realized the real reason behind J.D.’s rage.

It wasn’t about Cameron, hell J.D. would have felt the just same if it was any man really. He was grieving the loss of his relationship with his child. For eighteen years Michaela had counted on him for guidance, support and protection, and he in turn had loved her fiercely, there's nothing he wouldn't do for her but now J.D. thought she didn't need him anymore and Krisis knew it had to hurt.

“Mickey loving Cameron doesn't mean she loves you any less. You are still her father. There are things only a father can do for her, like kick her boyfriend’s ass when he gets out of line, or give her away on her wedding day. There are things she will still want to talk to you about that she can't discuss with Cam because maybe those things are about Cam, and who knows him better than you and me? You still have her graduation from Uni to look forward to, her first GP practice or her album or whatever she chooses to do, don’t forget her kids too. There's so much more.” Krisis stopped talking when he thought J.D. wasn’t listening.

But he was. “Grandkids?” J.D. asked with a deep frown in his eyes. “Dude I'm still way too young to be a granddaddy.”

“'Tis true,” Krisis laughed, and he was glad to see the smile on J.D.'s face, as brief as it was.

“It's not a loss. She's not leaving you, she's just finding herself. And you need to help her do that the only way you can.” Krisis added.

“Which is?” J.D. wanted to know.

“Be there for her.”

J.D. fell silent again, mulling over his words. He took a long swig from the bottle Krisis had failed to notice until now.

“When did you get so smart?” J.D. turned to him with a smirk.

“Since I met Leigh.”

“I have hope! If you can reform maybe Cam can too. You were always the biggest slut Krisis Frost!” J.D. peered inside his bottle. It was empty now and Krisis knew what he was thinking.  He wanted another drink, but he wouldn't let him.

He ignored the comment about him being a slut. But J.D. was right, and not for the first time he wished Leigh was the very first woman he’d met and fell in love with, he would have avoided a lot of shit.

“She may not be the first, but she’s certainly your last,” he reminded himself, thinking about Vanessa Williams’ song, what was it called again, Save The Best For Last? Yeah, that one! God had had a plan all along, and he'd be damned if he'd let anyone mess with His plan. Leigh couldn't die. Ariel had to be wrong.

“You can always turn her now,” J.D. spoke, shocking Krisis out if his reverie. He forgot sometimes that they could read each other’s' thoughts.

“What if it doesn't change anything?”

“It will change everything,” J.D. argued.

“I don't know. If she's stays human there’s still a chance. If I turn her now, today, and something happens tomorrow, that's it. No more chances, no bringing her back. I can't take that risk. I have one shot at this!” Krisis explained.

“I understand. Remember though you know who hates you the most.”

“What are you saying?” Krisis asked. He thought he knew, but the idea disturbed him.

“Prevention is better than cure.” J.D. replied cryptically.

“What would you do?”

“Me?” J.D. thought about it for some time. And then he finally decided. "I hate doctors, and medicines and hospitals. So I’d probably prevent any illness to avoid the cure. But what do I know?”

Krisis couldn't believe those words were coming out of his best friend's lips.

This man, drunk and bleeding from inside out, was cold and dangerous, but at that moment Krisis understood why law enforcement had wanted him back. Sometimes cold, hard logic, as ruthless as it was, was needed, and that's where men like J.D. came in.

The thought though still unsettled Krisis. In fact their whole conversation was disturbing.

It began to snow shortly after that, and Krisis found himself thinking about the kids. And Leigh.

What if this was the last snow she ever saw? Would he want to see snow again without her? Hell no!

Like J.D., he hated hospitals.  And doctors. And medicines…