137. Starting Over

Bridgeport, present day...

Krisis had just reached his front door when his cell phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out and frowned when he saw it was Lynn, the estate agent.

 "Krisis, I know it's late but I thought you'd want to hear this ASAP, the sale fell through. I’m sorry; Clavier’s changed his mind about leaving Bridgeport…” She announced as soon as she heard his voice.

Krisis didn’t take the news well. He’d hoped by the time the triplets arrived they’d have long settled in their new home.

“I know. I’m sorry. I do have a few other places lined up for viewing if you are still interested. I have this house overlooking a lake. It has an amazing view of the city, pretty much like your current place, but…” Lynn ran through her sales pitch, going on and on about amazing views and waterfalls in that persuasive voice of hers; she explained to Krisis that the owner of the house, an elderly lady, had recently passed on and her lawyers wanted to tie up her estate ASAP.

Irritated by the news and high out of his head from his drug binge, Krisis reluctantly agreed to an afternoon meeting with her the next day to view the place.

He was surprised to find his daughter already fast asleep in her crib when he walked into the nursery; it was just after 7:00pm and Lily, the temperamental imp that she was, had  recently started going to bed later and later without Leigh’s disciplining hand.

"Leigh tucked her in. She had a long but fun day at the park with her cousin," Patty explained as she ran around the room, picking up Lily’s toys from the floor.

"Thanks Patty, do you mind staying the night? It's just that I need to go to Leigh, talk to her. I-" He would have carried on explaining himself and why he wanted to inconvenience her just this once, but Patty stopped him before he could go far.

"Leigh's upstairs, sleeping," she smiled when she saw the look of disappointment on his face quickly change to shocked happiness.

"She's tired; the triplets have been giving her a hard time today. Don't disturb her!" The nanny warned him before she left.

Lily must have sensed him there, watching her, because she opened her eyes suddenly, stood up in her crib, smiled at him and sighed “mommy.”

“Yeah. I know. Mommy is back. You did a great job today at the park, you brought mommy home and as a thank you I’m going to buy you a sport’s car.” He ruffled her hair affectionately and picked her up.

Lily giggled and cried excitedly, “No, no car, daddy. Doll!”

“Okay, I’ll get you a doll then,” Krisis smiled, thinking about how much his daughter loved Leigh and how ecstatic Leigh was when Lily had first called her “mommy”.

“I love you Lily-Bear,” Krisis kissed his daughter’s forehead and gently pushed her back on the crib.

“Close your eyes, go to sleep,
Mr. sandman is waiting,
just to guide you on your way,
with his basket full of dreams
and the moon, up on high
shines his light on your pillow
and the stars, in the sky
will be twinkling for you.”  

He sang Close Your Eyes, Go to Sleep, a lullaby he’d learned from Leigh and it didn’t take his daughter long to pass out again.

He watched her sleep for a while before he rushed to the master bedroom, taking the stairs two at a time.

When he walked into their bedroom and saw Leigh’s bags strewn on the floor, he closed his eyes and said a small prayer of thanks. He didn't know what had changed her mind, but he guessed it had a lot to do with her time at the park with Eloise and the kids. He made a mental note thank Eloise the next time he saw her.

As he lay down on the bed beside Leigh, he felt incredibly lucky and blessed to have her in his arms again. 

"Hey," she murmured sleepily, nestling closer to him.

"You’re back?" Krisis asked. The bags said it all, but he needed her confirmation to believe it.

"I am," Leigh smiled and closed her eyes.

Within moments she was snoring softly in his arms, and he was left feeling uncomfortable. It would take a long, cold shower to get rid of the sudden bulge in his briefs...

______

The next afternoon...

The estate agent was already at the house when they arrived. She came out to greet them, and they made small talk for a bit, talking about the weather, Krisis and Leigh’s triplets and the After Dark release party.

Soon their small talk made way for awkward silence like it normally does between people who barely know each other and Lynn saw it as her cue to lead them inside and show them the place.

“Please excuse the mess,” she apologized when they walked in.

It was obvious from the boxes arranged around the dining room and the few remaining personal items on the floor that the deceased owner’s family was in the middle of packing up the place.

Leigh blanched visibly when she suddenly thought of her own packing in a few short weeks when they’d have to move out of the house on the cliff.

Lynn gave them a tour of the house.

All four bedrooms were decently sized with more than enough closet space. The kitchen was huge and Leigh liked that, she could already see her family seated around the breakfast nook getting ready to start their day.

She also loved the fact that the living room was quite sunny and airy, and the windows overlooked the decked patio and the pool; she’d always have a clear view of their kids when they played outside.

Krisis though wasn’t impressed with the place. He thought it was small for their large family, the bathrooms needed a lot of work, the fittings in the dining room and kitchen had to go and he didn’t like the raised stage in the living room. But Leigh pointed out those were things they could fix easily and he grudgingly agreed.

She asked Lynn to show them the outside area, and the estate agent gladly led them to the patio.

For a long time Leigh didn’t say anything, the view beyond held her spellbound.

The gushing sounds from the waterfall and the birds singing in the palms trees lining the small pond created a sweet melody, stirring whimsical feelings of nostalgia in her.

This was the home of her childhood fantasies.  It was all so perfect; the sounds, the heady scent of Azaleas, the sun gently caressing her face and Krisis’ arms around her. She wanted it all. Always. Wanted this moment to last forever too because her life right then was perfect.

She had content look in her eyes as she sighed dreamily. She was convinced this was the home for them. She could honestly see herself and Krisis grow old together in this house. Well she wouldn’t grow old if he turned her, but she could see them make memories with their brood.

“You want it?” Krisis asked casually.

Leigh’s eyes flew open. She hesitated. She did want it. But, as small as it was it was much pricier than Ebenezer Clavier’s place and she knew it was all thanks to the breathtaking view of the Lake and the city and the nearby waterfall.

“Leigh, money is not a problem. I’m just worried about the time we’d have to put into fixing it up, with the triplets’ arrival and the band going on tour we won’t have a lot of time. But if you want it, we’ll get it.” Krisis murmured as he kissed her cheek.

“Yes. Yes, I want it!” Leigh sprang away from him and jumped up and down like a little kid.

Krisis scooped her in his arms again and planted a firm kiss on her mouth. Her happy squeals were music to his ears as he twirled her in the air.

“Okay. It’s yours,” he told her as he gently set her down again. Turning to Lynn he asked, “When can we move in?”

Lynn shook her head. She thought they were being hasty.  She wanted them to take some time and see more places before making their decision.

“Leigh loves it so there’s really no need to wait,” Krisis insisted, leading Lynn back inside the house.

While Krisis and the estate agent went over the paperwork for the new place, Leigh wandered the empty rooms, mentally making plans, and choosing paint and carpet colors in her head.

Her happiness was short lived and it didn’t take long for the worrywart in her to take over.

As she gazed at the exotic fish in the entrance hall’s aquarium, she found it incredible that this was her life. If someone had told her two years earlier she'd be head over heels in love with a rockstar and pregnant with his kids, she would have laughed in their face.

Everything felt huge and scary. She was about to start a new chapter in her life. Motherhood. And she had no idea what to expect. As excited as she was, she couldn't help but feel scared too.

"What’s going on?" Krisis asked, leaning on the doorjamb, Lynn was gone and they had their new house to themselves.

Leigh turned slightly from the window to look at him. She smiled, and brushed away her tears quickly. In a flash Krisis crossed the room and he had her in his arms.

"Hey, talk to me, what's wrong?" he asked, holding her face up between his palms, forcing her to meet his eyes.

"Nothing, it's just that here we are, starting our life together, about to move into our family home and I feel so incredibly blessed and lucky, but I can't help feeling scared too. What if I fail? What if I’m not meant to be a mom, what if..." she would have carried on with her fears and what ifs, but Krisis silenced her with a kiss.

"I’m here, forever.  I'll be your campus when you need direction, your safe harbor when you feel scared. You have nothing to worry about. You’ll be amazing. Our kids are so lucky to have you for their mom. Look at the way you are with Lily. She loves you, you are her hero. And I can’t express how much that means to me, the way you’ve accepted her." He dropped a kiss in her hair and held her away from him a little.

“She’s a beautiful child, with a beautiful spirit; it’s easy to love her. And it helps that I’m madly in love with her daddy,” Leigh smiled impishly at him.

For a long time Krisis stared into her eyes, as if searching for something, some sign that she was okay or at least going to be okay.

“I’m fine, Krisis. I got a little emotional, that’s all,” she assured him. She pulled away from him and laced their hands together, leading him out of the room.

“I think we should go for something neutral for the nursery, like yellow. And I thought of the perfect names for the girls, Ariel and Azalea! It’s only fair I name them since you named Kristian as soon as you found out his sex. What do you think?” Leigh’s voice echoed in the empty dining room. She was suddenly excited again about the house.

Krisis agreed, about everything, especially their daughters’ names. But he really didn’t want to talk about paints and carpets and baby rooms. He wanted to christen their home.

And they did, the best and only way they knew how.

Later, as they lounged in front of the fire in their soon-to-be dining room, with Leigh trailing circles on his chest, Krisis finally opened up and told her about his fears and the confusion he’d felt since finding out Thornton’s his father.

“Hey,” Leigh moved over him, her hair gently falling on his chest. “You don’t know if what Margaret said is true, Thornton and your mom could have been in a relationship.”

“Why would she lie about that, Leigh? Rape is not something you lie about!” Krisis sighed, his arms unconsciously tightened around her. She was his anchor, he felt safe with her close to him.

“I know. But why don’t you talk to Thornton and ask him. You don’t have to make him a part of your life if you don’t want to. And I’ll support whatever you decide.” Leigh dropped kisses on his eyelids. “But you owe it to yourself to know the truth about the circumstances surrounding your birth. You owe yourself peace and closure and Thornton can give that you.”

“What if it’s true? What if she was telling the truth? What if he admits it, and then what?”

It broke Leigh’s heart to see him so vulnerable and afraid and she wished she could make things easy on him, take some of the weight he’d been carrying around these last few weeks.

“Then we’ll face the truth together,” she kissed him and laid her head on his chest, listening to the rhythm of their heartbeats. She’d missed this, being in his arms like this, but most of all she’d missed him sharing his ups and downs with her.

“I’ll talk to Krimsyn and hear what she has to say,” Krisis spoke up at last, his deep voice sending waves throughout her body.

It wasn’t what she’d hoped to hear. But it was a start at least. He was ready and willing to confront his past. And for now, it was enough, for both of them.